I am so supposed to be studying now, but I've figured if I don't update a bit my blog is gonna seh koh. So yours truly is here. XD

My emotions are super freaked up these days. I reach home after school on most days and I think: Is this a good day or a bad day? And I ponder over it while i eat while I bath while I'm napping, and I still can't make up my mind. Sometimes I wonder, should I or should I not let all these things affect me so easily? I tend to go flow, like when there's something happy, I'll be all smiles. My moods get dyed by my surroundings so easily. But when there's something even slightly not good then I let myself fall head over my huge ass over it. I'm thinking of Keane's Snowed Under. I don't know why I waste my time, getting worked up about the things you say when I open my eyes and it's a lovely day. Wish I could say the same... ...

Studying seems like a good escape LOL. (The more reason to not be here.) I do try, real real hard. They just don't see me anymore. No one noticed that I've improved 21 overall placings, they just care that I'm the last 5 in my class. Not even a nod of approval.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'll shrivel up, smaller and smaller and smaller until I disappear. I wonder whether they'll even notice. Then I realized although I keep saying I don't care, I do. I do want to.