Now that I've gotten over the euphoria of post-SPM, I really need to list down the stuff that I need to do. It seems so awesome at first; finish SPM, head out with friends everyday, 3 months of freedom and doing whatever I want. But then once you get over the high-ness of finally having no more major exams, you realize there's actually much much more to do and to think about. To tell the truth I sometimes think I prefer the pre-SPM days. Pre-SPM, everything is laid out for us, everything planned perfectly for us; no thinking, no decisions to make. All you need to do it to work hard and study. Now, seems like everything requires consideration, everything have to be decided, choose your collage, choose the course you want, plan my budget(don't have to wanna ask for money), decide if I'm going to work(Dad doesn't want me to work) etc. I feel like I'm finally feeling the burden of growing up, like really grow up. Back then, all I do is whatever my parents wanted I to do, go here go there, eat this, study, choose science stream, quit drama, quit Olahraga, become a prefect. And once in while rebel a little to make life a bit more interesting. But it feels so different now; I wanted to grow up so badly, to make my own choices, I want my decisions to count for something, I want my parents to respect my choices. I want to make a difference. Somehow now the time has come where I'm suppose to make decisions, really make them, and I feel... ...frightened. The choices that I'm gonna make is gonna affect me a lot, and I feel like if I make the wrong decision life is going to be very different(and hard). I wish I knew if there is someone else also feeling this way.

It seem so fast that I've grown up, I am excited about it, but also I am frightened.

JY