You'll never know how independent you can be until you are truly independent.

It's been exactly 3 months since I left home, but honestly, once I got used to this foreign city, it felt like so much more than 3 months. Before I came I didn't really want to admit it to myself that I was leaving, cuz I didn't really wanna feel all that messed up when I still don't need to. So on the very last morning, when I woke up thinking that this was my last day at home, the emotions rushed in, and I spent the whole morning crying. *hesitate* Well a lot of it was by mum and grandma, but I cried a lot anyway. I'm proud of myself though; a lot of people have the 'I don't wanna go any more' thoughts before they leave, I never had that. I was still really looking forward to my new life here.

I had quite a lot to get used to. For one, I miss driving, a lot. For another, I hate - hate - long distance relationships. Me and my boyfriend have had experience in long distance relationships; back then we were in different collages anddifferent states. We got used to the adjustments and the compromises, but it wasn't all that bad actually. Even in worst case scenarios, I'd still get to see him at least once or twice a month. But now we're in different countries, different time zones, and we have such different lives. After 3 months I still find it difficult to not be able to reach him whenever I need him, and I doubt I'll ever get use to this distance. But I'm not just talking about my boyfriend here. There'll be times when I have little, totally random things to tell a certain friend, or my mum, or my aunts, but it's not so easy any more. The trouble of calling versus the tiny insignificant random one thing you wanna say, well, it just doesn't make sense. I still call them, but I'd miss them even when I'm talking to them. I guess I'm just the kind of girl that prefers face-to-face interaction. Oh, and when the internet connection breaks down...makes me wanna literally cry in frustration.

Then there are these little things that you can never prepare yourself to face, and can't really bring yourself to tell people when you're having trouble with them. Like when I first came here I was appalled at how they use they're plastic bags. In Penang, plastic bags are banned, so we don't ever use plastic bags, unless we go to the wet market. Here they use plastic bags like it's free! (okay it is free for us, but not for them! I mean they have to pay someone to get these plastic bags right? uhm, okay I'm digressing.) They'd put 2 or 3 items in one bag and then use a new bag for the next item! On a typical shopping trip I'd have about 5 or 6 different bags when all of my groceries could actually fit into 2 bags! When they rip open a new bag I wanted to shout at them to keep loading my things into the old bag! And after that I'd spend the journey home thinking about how many bags they use in a day, and where those bags end up, and what's gonna happen to them, and what people are gonna do with them. Okay I know this is weird but I'd really think about them for a whole hour or so! And it kinda makes it impossible for you to have a good day when you spend a whole hour thinking of plastic bags. *pouts*

People in Melbourne are so friendly. And I mean sooooooo friendly! You'd walk down the street and have total strangers greeting you. If you're standing in line for coffee, the cashier, the window cleaner, and the person behind you in the line will all wish that you have a nice day. In my first week here I would never greet anyone back, it's just so weird! I'd be giving nice innocent people sceptical looks, thinking what they want from me. Within a few weeks of being in Melbourne, I've also noticed that people say 'Cheers!' instead of 'Thank you!', so I jumped on the wagon. But when I said 'Cheers' to people they tend to gimme this very weird look. So I started observing whether Asian girls say 'Cheers' and it turns out Asian girls in Melbourne just stick together with Asian girls so it was no problem for them. (Oh and for the record, use 'Thanks'. It's the safest)

Okay I am ranting again so I'm gonna just end very abruptly now. Oh and, 37 days until I fly home! I'm going to eat every hawker food I can think of and I'm gonna become so gloriously fat. :D

That awkward moment when you're just shy, but somehow your group member in a quiz thinks that you're a free rider.

The thing about living in a hostel is that you have to share. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I hate sharing. Sharing means socializing, and that's awesome. Its just that sometimes different people have different levels of sharing that they're comfortable with.

When I first moved in I bought a pot from Coles, just enough to prepare meals for 1 or 2. I wanted to use that for myself; the sharing one was really icky (and I mean really icky, it had rust on it). Then my friends wanted to borrow it - to reheat their soup, to warm milk, to boil tea. I thought: No harm, since they wash it before returning it to me. At first they were super polite about it, asking me first before they use it. Then we grew closer, and then they'd just tell me when they use it. Then eventually they don't even ask nor tell me - I'd find my pot missing from my ladder space, walk to the kitchen and find them using it. And when I ask for it, "Gimme half an hour, let me finish making this soup first". And when they're done, they leave it on the stove unwashed for me.

The pot was a anti-stick pot (note the past-tense), but when more and more people used it, the more battered it got. Some people used their silverware to stir their food in the pot, so over time my poor pot got little scratches over it, then eventually the anti-stick quality was gone. One day I took out my pot to discover the bottom of it was burned. One day I saw that someone broke the handle of the lid. Today, I couldn't find my pot at all. When I finally found it on the common shelf, it was lidless. The lid was gone. What. The. Frog.

What pissed me off the most was that, when I first bought the pot, I asked my friends whether they wanna share the pot or not. If they think they wanna use it, then we'll split the price of the pot (fair right?). But they said no, they don't think they'll be using it a lot. What. The. Frog.

Okay enough ranting. I gotta go study for my finals. 40 days till I fly home! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy kthxbai!

Hey you. There will be a moment, far away from now, when the sun is shining and the weather is so beautiful, and you are walking down your favourite market, eating a peach with its juice running down your fingers; there will be that moment where you will feel happy all by yourself, and it will feel nearly perfect. But then there will also be this moment when deep down, you know that the moment will be even more perfect is he is by your side.

So. Mehhhhh. Such a mellow ponder for a first blog post in such a long time. But whatever, hello again Blogger!