i tried
i just can't
i cried
i give up

JY

Can't freaking stand it no more. Must tell someone. Rant post rant post rant post.

I just saw someone retweeting this:Serioualy, I can't stand it. This kind of person - he checks how many followers he's gain since 5 minutes ago, then checks it 10 minutes later - retweeting this. I bet my buttocks that he only knows 5% of the people he follows. Sheeeeeesh... I like my ass, please don't make it drop off from excessive laughing. tqvmuch.

Kay must continue my process of daiiiiiiying. Yarggghhh!!!

JY
27 days to go.

My father is the most inappropriate, toady, hypocrite person I have ever the misfortune to meet, let alone have a blood tie with.

He blames people for never explaining anything to him, but he doesn't give people a chance to do so. He likes to joke, but most all the time no one can tell whether it's a joke or whether he's really pissed. He talks to everyone in the way a General talks to his army, bloody freaking loudly. He teases people a lot, but most of the time offending the person in question. He treats his children like investments. He pays for food and living expenses and stuff and expects profits multiply several hundred times. My father thinks he is the most successful person on the planet and cannot wait to share his shitload philosophy with everyone he meets. Everyone is suppose to look up to him and ask him for advise on every-freaking-thing, and whoever appears more successful than him either has an attitude problem or is an arse or has cancer and is worth him pitiying.

A conversation would be going well, everyone have fun and laughing. As soon as he walks in a joins in, I leave my chair. I don't want to risk earwax overloading.

JY

My heart gives an extra pound whenever I see your first name, which incidentally is a quite well-used name. At this rate my heart is probably gonna overbeat by the time I'm 30. It's worth it if it's for you, but you're not ever there. You're like smoke, when the wind blows you disappear. However I strive to keep you with me, you slip through my fingers everytime. imy

Oh God, I'm DAIIIIIYING here! There are approximately 13 days left till SPM starts, and I'm here updating my blog! (Not that I'm in any position to complain, I'm the one to stick my lazy ass here.) T_T

Seriously, I am this close to giving up already. It's like I don't know where to start revising, I don't know which exercise to start doing. I'm lost in the middle not knowing where to go. Argh, the frustration! *pulls out hair* OK, excuse me for now, I'm gonna go drown myself in self-pity while playing 'The Middle' on full blast.

It just takes some time

Little girl you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright

JY

Oh the guilt!

A relative of my dad's visited Penang, so my dad took us all out for breakfast just now. It was the usual chat/small talk in the car. As any other 17 year old, as soon as the other party got to know that you're in your last year of high school, they drill you with what you want to do with your future, interrogate you on where you wanna further your study. On times like these, I normally just shrug away the question and never joining in the conversation again. But on the car I could see that there was no way out, so I told the truth: 'I'm thinking of Psychology'.

It just suddenly occurred to me that I never talked to my father to what I might wanna do in my tertiary studies; I never dropped a single hint, knowing that if I did I would never get the end of it. It's just a little mean, for him to find out what his daughter want to study through a conversation that did not include him.

JY