See. you have to look at the time. Aiyah, I'll just say. It's like 5am and I'm awake because of my emcee stuff and I only slept for like 4 hours. I have to walk real slowly and type real softly cuz my baby cousin sis is sleeping in the guest room a.k.a here. Ta-ma-de I am really pissed off. Reminded me so much why I hated this time of year since form3. It's school concert. It's the time of year where we're stuck in between exams and non-exams. It's his month. His birth, his leaving. (He's not dead lah)Dammit even Kakak was talking to me about him yesterday. I was reading a book and I saw the date in my book. And it was MJ's death anniversary. Everything revolves and revolves.

PS: A lot of people have come and tell me I'm emo after they read my blog. Please don't. I am not and your asking pisses me off. I will say it when I'm emo. I don't shuddup and say everything is fine. I tell people about it so that my emo-ness decrease or whatever shit at least I can get it off my chest.

PPS: In this post I'm angry not emo.

JY
Please come back.

I am this kind of person, where I do something and I find that I can't do it, I just give up. Not all the time mind. (but most of the time). There's this one time, me and my brother bought a plant to brighten up our bathroom. And it was a really nice plant. It's edible! Its leaves are sweet and minty. So it's like you're halfway shitting and you think its too smelly, you can just turn 90 degrees and pluck a leave and poop pop it into your mouth. Dot dot dot, it was a really nice plant. And I effing killed it. Not on purpose. It was the term 1 exam, and I was studying into the night, so I forgot to water the plant. And our exams are always like 2 weeks. So it died. Wait! Not yet. It was wilting first. Really puny and yellow and wilt-y. I tried to save it. I did! Water and water and water everyday. Died anyway. =(

So now I'm thinking. There's nothing in my bathroom.
I want a nice fish. >:)

JY
Pele Pele.

OK a more normal post today. (And I wasn't being emo)

I've decided lah. I'ma reopen my blog after I graduate. I mean if not it's kinda pointless. I borrowed 'The lovely Bones' from Amanda and I cried like 200+ times reading it, in a good way. Mum is getting on my nerves. I can count the things she says in a day that I don't get annoyed over in one finger. FML, pathetic right?

Not that I cared. But the thing was just lying there inches away from your hand and you didn't see it. Or you did and choose to pretend you didn't. I'm tired of caring. Just talk when you need me only. I'm not saying it in an emo kinda way. I mean it. I don't mind anymore lah. Just call when you need me. I'm being serious. In a really sad way though.

Dot dot dot. My mum decided that I should start studying like tomorrow is SPM. She wants me to go to the library every Thursday(The only day I don't have tuition). I appreciate it, her driving me over there and everything. But if thats gonna become something to exchange from me, I can take the bus. I don't want my studying to become the condition of her 'love and sacrifice and devotion'. I can take the bus. Or I can stay in school and use the school library. It makes me don't believe it anymore when she says 'I love you unconditionally'.

Dot dot dot, dot dot dot. From now on, I vow. I will not hate people; I will only hate habits. I will be nice to people. I will smile more often and tolerate. I will pretend I am deaf if I hear someone talking about me. I will stab you and slice off your buttocks if you sit in my place again.

OK peoples. Smile and be nice. Remember, if you cannot tahan your temper and wanna stab someone, always use an icicle. The weapon melts away.

JY
Mixed flavours.

I'm the kind of girl who can sit alone in the bathroom listening to this song, crying my heart out. If. Only if I have a reason to. I remember. I still do. And it reminds me of you like it was yesterday. We both know, but we both can't. I'm not being emo. I just suddenly remembered.

Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
'Cause you and I, why we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better than you and your boyfriend

Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me

Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you
Before I rightly explode
And this double life I lead isn't healthy for me in fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Well, baby there's a lot that I miss in case I'm wrong

All I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still cant say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me

If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
It might kill me

JY
All I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still cant say it after all we've been through

Word of the day:

BUSTED!!

Seeeee? I am lazy. I dont update one.

OK lotsa things have been happening. I'm really confused about my feelings for everyone, I found out something, I saved an animal, I made somethings clear, I got my results back, I cut my hair. It's been a abso-effing-lutely confusing week.

I don't know whether I like it or not, I dunno whether I like that or not. I dont know whether I should be happy or disappointed with my exam grades. I dunno whether I wanna hear my mum talking or not. I dunno why someone is acting so crazily, I dunno why someone is so emo, I don't know why he is flirting with me again. I don't know if I even wanna look you in the face.

Uggghhhhhh! I scream out loud. I bawl my lungs out. I fake a smile till my jaw drops off. BUT I have not cried yet! Wohoho. Piss on everyone! Whoops. I mean, Peace on everyone!

I'm starting to slack off again, but it's difficult to maintain a blog running when you're watching a series. Bah, feeling guilty again cuz my brother has restarted his blog. After reading it, I felt like... ...I felt pity, and sympathy, and gulit. I wouldn't say I know him best in the family, but I always tried to understand and approve in whatever he does. I'll try better and harder, I promise. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I think there's a problem with my brother, it's just that he's been nearly always away from us(his family) for the pass 7 years, so I'm implying that I need to work harder to make him a part of all of us. It's complicated, but whatever, it's how I feel.

I don't feel like I want to go to tomorrow's Picnic, 4 major events of the Prefectorial Board has force me to conclude that they can the best come out with lame games just to pass our time; they host the Picnic merely for the sake of hosting it, nothing more. Plus, none of them is willing to contribute or do things to make the event more fun; the last time someone did that(he took off his shirt)he was kicked out of the board. Conclusion: It's a waste of time. But I'm the sort of leader for this year's Picnic, and I'm gonna have to go out of responsibility. The thing is, my parents will be landing in PIA at 9a.m. tomorrow, and however mean I sound when they're going away, I do miss them. I'm not gonna miss seeing my parents for an event that's such a waste of time. So I'm gonna go late. It's like they're forcing me away slowly anyway.

I made a new discovery today: I know why western girls have sex much earlier and much easier than us Asians. They use tampons. -.-
I tried today and can only go halfway.
Ouch.

JY
I'm quoteless.

So. It's been one week since the holidays started. Why am I only updating my blog now? I've been like super lazy. I mean it when I say SUPER LAZY. OK, OK, I'll elaborate. First few days of the month is the exams, so no updates. Then comes the holidays, I scream around, I swim, I work out, I watch movies, I go shopping, I bake, I cook, I clear my room and wardrobe, I fool around and play and take care of my baby cousin sister who is staying at my house cuz her maid ran away. Then my brother comes back(HE SHAVED HIS EFFING HEAD). But then basically I've just been going out a lot, and watching movies a lot. Then I open my blog and I type a few lines, and I think: I'll do this tomorrow. The next day I open my blog, and I think: There's still time what. So I ended up abandoning it for more than 2 weeks. But today I'm not going out, not watching movies, not baking, not playing with my cousin sister cuz she's a little inactive than usual, so I feel really bad and really guilty and I'm making myself type this now. Ta-da! End of story. My conscience is back!

(Warning here! This is gonna be a very long-winded post. Please be patient. =D )

I'm not gonna talk about the shopping here cuz it bores people out when you're not actually shopping yourself. You just cannot feel the exhilaration and the excitement and the euphoria! Lets just say Lady Shopping-Luck is smiling upon me cuz I've been a good girl(and cuz I've been saving a lot). Pichas galore!

See?! I do keep my word.
All the not-so-nice pictures only in mah blog. =)

I've been feeling kinda weird lately. I'm not feeling sad, I'm not feeling emo, I'm not feeling sick, I'm not feeling upset, I'm not feeling angry, I'm not feeling frustrated, I'm not feeling depressed, I'm not feeling anything! But I suppose not feeling anything is also a kind of feeling. I can't really start watching korean dramas. I dunno what to watch. I scroll down the PPS list and I think: Boring. Uninteresting. I hate olden-days drama. I don't like the lead. Blah blah blah. And everytime I do start, I stop after 20+ minutes into it. I dunno, I think dramas are getting sort of... ...out. Weird right?

But I've found a new pastime! That day i found an 'Eco-fabulous!' bag in the drawer, it looks like the kind of bag that people bring to the beach and sunbathe. So then I was thinking: I don't sunbathe, and no beach available. FYI I'll only go to the beach near my house if I wanna get raped by those dirty Malays(not being rasict). But I wanna use the bag anyway. So I packed a towel, my swim suit, sunblock, sunnies, iPod, and my book-at-the-moment(Jurassic Park) and I went down to the pool. OMFG so comforting. I read about 3 chapters and my eyes got tired, so i dived. Straight into the pool. You know the scene in Baywatch? Pamela Anderson peeled of her shirt, revealing... ...uh, whatever's underneath, and dived. Awesome! And soh soh soh comfortable! Next time I'ma try bringing a tumbler of iced tea. Muahahaha. I mean, this is LIFE! Awesome like what!

I tell you guys har, I've discovered a new prick in this earth. Stupid homosexual wears pink everyday. You go ahead and call someone the nickname you've been calling secretly in her face, some more you tell people she's fat and stupid. Good, Mr. Homo. You do that one more time I guarantee you'll lose some teeth the next time you see her. You know her one loh, she won't be so kind one. FYI it's not me. Good luck getting your falsies.

JY
I hate holidays.